Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
