I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
