found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
