He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize