just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.