i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.