Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
