My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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