i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize