Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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