Walk of Shame. In a state park.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
sex in a hospital.. check
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
