He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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