He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
