But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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