we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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