I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
