Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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