you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize