Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
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He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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