ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
