you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
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Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
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private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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