Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
