You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
