I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
