someone owes me an orgasm
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
