You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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