im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize