there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
