I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
