i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
