Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
