At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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