Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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