Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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