The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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