He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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