It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
