is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
