I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
