Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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