I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
