you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Holy shit dude........stairs
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
