i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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