I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
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The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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