I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
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I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
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He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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