I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i believe in u and ur pee
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
