How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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