The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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