dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
