I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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