I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
