awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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