I looked at my own cervix.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
