Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
