When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
