Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
